Why I had a good day…

Outer_Space_by_ManthenielLast week was the pits. I have no idea why, but I was a shell of myself faking what I could, but mostly avoiding and hiding, cause I did not even have the energy to fake. My usual tricks did not work (Sound tracks to my favorite musicals, comedians on youtube, inspiring quotations on pinterest) I klomped through Tulip Time, but did not really have my heart in it. I ate, but did not taste; slept, but did not rest; read, but did not retain. I started into nothing thinking I felt like I was floating through space, dark, quiet, empty space… the world was far away. This lasted about 10 days.

I was getting worried actually, I took a few on line depression tests which told me I was low on the depression scale. But what the heck was going on?

Then today, it was gone. I started my day listening to a Podcast (This American Life). I had a fantastic therapy appointment where insight just poured into my very being. I left feeling like a huge weight was lifted off of me. I almost felt I could float away. I did not even know I was feeling so weighed down, until I wasn’t anymore.

Then a working lunch, with a great friend/colleague/kindred spirit, and we got stuff handled. Like kicked some but on a project that is long overdue being done.

sunbeamAnd as I drove to Grand Rapids to pick up my computer, listening to yet another great podcast, it occurred to me that the sun was finally shining. The actual sun! I don’t know what tomorrow will bring. I don’t know if I will see the sun again for a week, but I know that I had a good day. And the simplicity and beauty of that fact is comforting to my soul.

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