sugar and spice and everything nice

My daughter went to Gems tonight. My nephew went to Cadets. Same Church. Same age. Abby made bracelet out of buttons. Luke made a potato launcher and at the end of the night the Gems got to watch the Cadets launch potatoes. Gems are Girls. Cadets are boys. Girls make crafts. Boys (in Abby’s words) get to do “Wild and Crazy things”.

Gems are great, really. The girls get to hang out, do crafts and learn about God. But they don’t get to do “Wild and crazy things”. They have sleep overs. They do extremely fun yet overtly obvious girl things. And they were told tonight that boys were “wild and crazy”. And maybe it should not matter, cause she had fun, and she is not sitting on the couch watching Phineas and Ferb for the 200th time. But she is a part of a National organization that is blatantly sexist. And to be honest… I am pissed. She will keep going, and I will be happy for her, but inside I will be shaking mad. And I will continue to tell her that girls can do anything and she can do anything. And that boys can make bracelets too.

In other sexist news, there has been a lot of talk of girls dressing in a way that “distracts” boys, or men. One article said girls should have uniforms at school because their clothes could potential distract boys. And another said women should not wear yoga pants or leggings because it is “distracting” to men and these women are causing them to lust.

Did you read that closely? Women wearing yoga pants and girls wearing street clothes to school are making men lust. The nerve of us women! How dare we wear clothes!

I am just going to say this once… Men lust, on their own, despite what women may or may not be wearing. It is NOT a woman’s fault if a man lusts. Women who dress it tight tiny dresses and are falling over drunk are NOT “asking to be raped”.

And here is another thing… women lust too. Women are attracted to men in all kids of ways. Men walk around in low jeans with tanned muscles and messy hair. They are on massive billboards in Times Square in their underwear. Men can look fabulous in their suits or their running gear or casually drinking a beer. And we lust. But no one talks about it! No one blames men for anything.

I feel inferior to men often. Like I am not worthy or capable because I am a woman. And no one told me that, it is just these feeling I have because of the accepted norms. Because it is just the way it is. And then I send my daughter out in the world to make button bracelets while the boys launch potatoes.


3 thoughts on “sugar and spice and everything nice

  1. So you will applaud me for letting my boyishly boy son of 6 yearsof age wear nail polish on fingers and toes and make bead necklaces and bracelets in ALL the colors including pink and purple sparkles and green camo color in a pattern. And you will understand my sadness when last time he went to a friends house in his painted nails and necklace wearing a super hero shirt and camo shorts, his friend’s mom told her son that it was “his momma’s choice to let him wear girl things”. It kind of ticked me off when my wild and crazy boy came home and asked if he should take his polish off his nails cuz he’s a boy. So I reminded him that he is a wonderful, strong, sweet, sensitive, caring, creative, unique boy who can wear polish, make necklaces, and shoot nerf guns and squish bugs and bake cookies and hug and kiss mama as long as he wants to, cuz that’s what makes him him. But somehow I still felt some if his innocence was shattered. And it hurt.

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