I would not have gotten the job if I had applied. But desperate times call for desperate measure. So I got it without even an interview. My job title: Josh. Responsibilities: everything. You see, my poor husband (Josh) has been having debilitating back/hip pain. He can’t walk, sit, lay on his back, let alone do anything he usually does. Which is quite a list. So for the past month (on and off) I have had to be the “Interim Director of the Zuidema Household”
My resume pre injury looked like this:
Watcher: watching Josh get the girls ready for school while I drink my coffee and peruse social media.
Consumer: of food, coffee, mixed drinks etc. prepared by Josh.
Tester: of produce, jams, jellies, beers, baked goods etc homemade by Josh
Delegater: telling Josh and children to do stuff I am not excited about doing ie: housework and cooking.
Filler: of laundry baskets, kitchen sinks, dishwashers, trash cans.
Tucker inner: tucking children into bed
Misc. duties: occasionally making coffee, opening my own wine bottle, mowing lawn, filling/emptying dishwasher, laundry (but not folding or putting away), grocery shopping
Josh, on the other hand, has a resume that looks like this:
Doer: wake up girls, get them ready for school, bring to bus stop before working 12 hour shift. Clean house, do laundry, fold and put away laundry, scrub shower with razor blade, mop floor, organize garage, cook, bake, preserve, mix and brew all food and drinks, help girls with homework, edge, prune, weed, fertilize, trim and mow lawn, pay bills, all home and car repairs.
Planner: meals, vacations, gardens, budgets, retirement etc
Misc. duties: stop at the store at midnight so wife can have cheerios for breakfast. Take daughters out for donuts every Friday morning, bake cookies with daughters, make own laundry soap, do every single thing for 4 weeks out of the year while wife is in Africa.
So you can see, this is a job that not many people would covet. But I am doing it pretty well. I make mac and cheese, noodles and sauce, smoothies and microwaved black bean burgers for dinners. I make toast for breakfast (kids pack own lunch). I am doing laundry and thinking of putting it away. I have mowed the lawn, which also doubles as exercise. I have gotten the girls up and to school every morning and to bed with homework done every night. I have loaded and emptied the dishwasher and kept the house generally picked up and fairly clean.
But tonight… What made me feel more competent that anything ever could… I put the chain back on my daughter’s bike. I may have to talk to the Director about a raise when he comes back…