making sense.

I have admitted through this trip that I have questioned my motivation to come here. I have admitted through this trip that I have questioned my flexibility. Emotionally this has been a difficult week for me, because I have had to face some truths about myself that I do not want to admit. Like being American. I wish I was not, but I am. And that is the truth. I am spoiled, I have expectations, I need positive feedback. And without sleep, I am a mess .

Then today came. Training day 1. I was very anxious and I usually am not anxious when I train. But I started off on the wrong foot with this group by leaving the guest house of our host. I did not go back to feed the babies. I know I should have stayed and feed the babies and played with the babies, but what I wanted more was quiet, calm, peace, food and drink, a soft bed, a warm shower. So I walked into my training room this morning carrying all this baggage.

And guess what? 8:45 came, and half the group arrived. 8:50 came and the rest arrived and we started. 10 minutes early! They loved the toys and started playing immediately. They were excited to share with me what they hoped to learn and it was all topics we plan on discussing.

They laughed and joked, they shared stories of the children they work with. They asked questions. We did impromptu case studies. They LOVED chocolate. We brainstormed, we hoped, we dreamed, we debated and we discussed.

As we are wrapping up our day, I feel good. I feel that I am in the right place at the right time. I feel it was important for me to move to a nice hotel so that I could feel emotionally prepared for today. And that I will be able to rest tonight.

I am learning. I am growing. I am humbled and I am encouraged.


3 thoughts on “making sense.

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