I am flying above a vast desert on my way from Addis to Kampala. I have no idea what to expect…which is good, because with expectations comes disappointment. I have no idea if we will be picked up at the airport, I assume we will, but by who? And no emergency numbers…I am not worried about that either. Honestly, right now, I am most worried about fitting into my clothes because I seemed to have gained 10 pounds overnight.
A few nights ago, in Hawassa, I got sick. And if you know me, you know that is my biggest phobia. I become beyond irrational. The Panic attack hit hard and fast. It was the middle of the night and I was alone and scared! I took some Valium and willed myself not to get sick. I took some Imodium which helped that problem. After a face time home to talk with my parents, sister, nephews and niece I decided to take another Valium and try to sleep.
At this point I had been in the lobby for 3 hours in the middle of night, crying and playing puppy with my 2 year old niece, so I am sure I looked like a crazy person, panting and barking like a dog and then petting my iPad while it barked back at me. (It sounds funny now, but trust me at that moment I thought the night would never end. Isn’t everything worse at night!
I have never been sick away from home, I have never been panicked like this away from home. I was home sick and longed for my husband and kids who were not online. I could not believe I had come all this way just to feel sick! For the first time ever, in all my work here,I just wanted to be home and wondered why in the world I was here. Why had I come all this way, spent all this time? Am I really doing what I am supposed to be doing?
I managed about 4 hours of sleep and was still feeling sick the next morning and had a 6 hour bumpy drive ahead of me. I had to ask the driver to pull over once, but there were people every where! How could I throw up In front of 100 people on their street. There was nothing in the car for me to use, just a shower cap that Dinke found. But thankfully the nausea passed. I fell asleep and survived the craziest bumpiest stop and go trip of my life. But woke up feeling better.
Now here I am somewhere between countries and everything is new again. I am still feeling a bit off and a bit anxious. I am still reeling from our short time in Ethiopia and now will begin again…but I have not hugged a stranger, told someone I loved them, or had to throw away any underwear, so I will dwell on that. I am ready for you Uganda, Are you ready for me?