I have perfected dealing with stress. In college, it began ruling my life. I am not sure how I managed throughout my early 20’s. I freaked out about EVERYTHING! Finally, I realized that I just could not live that way anymore. I was going to end up a one of those housebound people who could not walk out their doors for fear of everything. So I learned how to bury my worry. No deal with it, not face it, but hide it. I just tuck it all away, move on with life and hope the problem solves itself before it seeps back into my conscious. And I realized 2 very effective ways to keep my mind off the anxiety. Eating and shopping.
But inevitably, it comes back, sometimes I am in place to deal with it or problem solve. Other times, I am paralyzed by it and just want to sleep, quit, run away, and sleep some more.
This is where I am today. I have a few projects at work that I am working on that I enjoy, but keep putting off because there is too much going on. I have 10 reports due, many appointments to schedule, a staff taking a month leave of absence, an evening meeting I do not have a babysitter for, no one to watch my children after school which starts in a few weeks, a diet that should include lots of fresh foods and variety of fruit, veggies and legumes/proteins, an instead I’m eating processed bars and cookies and topping it off with dark chocolate…
So it is Sunday afternoon and I should be getting a handle on my reports, figuring out child care, planning lunches and dinners for myself and all I want to do is sleep. Sleep until someone else does it all for me and I can start fresh. I know how good I will feel if I just tackle it, but I keep putting it all off and then my temper is short and my coping mechanisms are either sleep or anger.