Pity Party

I hate to have a temper tantrum on my blog, but the only other option is screaming profanity and throwing pans off my deck.  Writing can calm me down so I will give it a try.  I really do try to make light of my kitchen “issues”, but to be honest they have caused me serious distress.  I despise the kitchen, even thinking about cooking something can set my anxiety off.  I have tried a few times to overcome my fears and it usually ends up with food no one will eat, a fire alarm going off and/or a burnt pan or two.

Once last summer the fire alarm was wailing so I just took the fried cookie sheet holding who knows what to the deck.  I forgot about it all and found the pan out there three weeks later.  I threw it away.

So by default, I became a fast food junkie.  Every night we would drive through some where or eat cereal and I was happy.  But fat.  So the healthy life style started and unless I want to eat smoothies every meal for the rest of my life I figured I would have to learn some cooking.

I was excited this time… I had a purpose, my new found healthy body.  But my first attempt (which I tried to frame positively) ended up with burnt Quinoa.  Then the burnt sweet potatoes that set of the fire alarm last night and the burn Oatmeal tonight.  Which, despite myself, brought me to tears.

So I yelled at my kids for asking “why” I burnt the stupid oatmeal and now Abby is crying and so am I and writing this did not help me at all except make me more upset.  So there you have it.


3 thoughts on “Pity Party

  1. Never.give.up. I know you can do this, Sarah. Keep trying. You have spent so much time figuring out what is best to eat and researching good recipes. You have lost weight. You have been an inspiration to the whole office. You look great. And you can do this! Defeat your fears. Do it until you find success. If only by making 2 or 3 meals that you like and you know are healthy. P.S. Hope you can feel my hug :).

    • B. you are great, I am still committed to the diet, it is just this darn cooking that kills me every single time!!!!!! But, I am so excited about the new foods, I will have to keep trying, and hopefully have a better attitude about it… I guess it is just one of those days : )

  2. I think I know what happened with your quinoa, since I just did the same thing. DOH! Put the quinoa and water on the stove, covered, on high heat, just until it starts bubbling/boiling. Once you hear it boiling, turn the burner down to low/simmer for the rest of the cooking time. (About 15-20 minutes, total). I make mine in a medium saucepan that has a clear lid. I check it every now and then by tilting the pan. If I can still see water, I know it’s not done. If I don’t see water, I immediately remove it from the heat and fluff it up with a fork. I already had this process down, but my mom called today while it was still on high heat. I forgot about it for a few minutes too long. Burnt quinoa. 😦

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